Loopy Mama » Navigating the alien world of parenthood, one loopy day at a time

My baby girl is 4 months old today.

And I have an empty bed.

Sob.

Ok…chin up mama, I know this is part of the whole ‘growing up’ thing that inevitably happens the moment they arrive.  But I have to say, I’m having some trouble sleeping without her beside me (which might explain writing this post at 1 in the morning).

A few days ago, we had the craziest of nights where she was up to snack every hour.  It wasn’t that she was hungry…she would just inch-worm her way over to me, smack her lips, and say, “hand over the boob woman!”

I had become “soothe-a-boob.”  And, I have to admit, I was only too happy to oblige (fully realizing all veteran moms will be clucking their tongues at me…is that the expression?  Does one “cluck their tongue?”)

Anyway – I really wasn’t worried about the clucking moms, but I figured it couldn’t be good for Rya if she was up every hour to snack (she clearly has inherited my will power when it comes to snacking! hehe), so two nights ago, we moved her to the bassinet beside our bed.

Might I add, I’m on the side of the bed against the wall, so there is my husband between her and I – which feels like a really big distance…it might as well be Siberia (yeah…I tend to dramatize, I know)

But I really do feel like I’m floating around this empty bed, with part of me missing.  I know she is 3 feet away.  But I miss her terribly.

Confession: last night, after her 5AM feeding, I brought her back to bed with me for a morning snuggle.  Cluck away.  This mama needed it! And she slept quite peacefully with me until 9AM, so I think Rya needed it too.

I hope she gets some will power and we can go back to sleeping together (or maybe I’m the one that needs some will-power!)

“Letting go….”  Clearly I still need some work on this concept!

And one more makes…500.

500 strands of hair – each day – that’s how much you can lose after pregnancy. (I swear I have to be closer to 700 strands a day!)

Now, I understand that it’s hair you would have lost earlier had the hormones not kicked to give you thick, beautiful hair at the end of the pregnancy in the first place – but still, this is a whole lotta hair coming out at once.  Each day.  For weeks and weeks (when DOES this stage  end, by the way?)

And does anyone else feel just a tad alarmed when, after vigorously brushing your hair before getting in the shower, and pretty much filling your brush, you STILL end up with clumps of hair in your hand while rinsing out the shampoo?

I know it’s just my own hair, but, when I glance down and see it in the garbage, I constantly think it’s a small animal looking back at me (but maybe I’m still traumatized by the ‘rat incident in my bathroom’ – don’t ask!).

I think I make it even worse by wearing my hair up in a ponytail all day…so, as I lose hair throughout the day – instead of falling out and flying through the air, it stays in the elastic, so at night, when I take it out – CLUMP-O-RAMA.

…have I mentioned I miss being pregnant sometimes? haha

Oh – sidenote on the ponytail…anyone have an alternative hairdo suggestion for new moms?  I was watching a ‘What Not To Wear, Mom episode” the other night, and half way through, I gasped in alarm – I could BE this episode..except no one is coming to save me from myself!

Hair in ponytail everyday?  Check!
Wearing clothes from 10 years ago?  Check!
No make-up? Check!
Buy multiples of the same shirt in different colours? Check!

Someone – nominate me for the show! (but please wait until my hair stops falling out…that just wouldn’t make for good TV…actually, that MIGHT make for good TV?!)

Anyway, I do look forward to *this* little stage to come to an end (and oh what fun it will be, when all this hair starts to regrow – can someone say CHIA-PET?!?!)

“You can’t expect life to be a Norman Rockwell painting”

This is what my mom said to me recently.

We were having a conversation around what we thought ‘family life’ would look like once a baby arrives…and what it does in reality.

I don’t know what she is talking about – this is EXACTLY what our holidays looked like growing up (ha!)

Anyway…I won’t get into the conversation, because despite what my hubbie might believe, I DO actually keep SOME things private (just not much!)

But I’ll tell you what you never see in the Rockwell paintings – BLOW OUTS!!

My word…those things really catch me off guard – even 3 months into this ‘motherhood’ game.

Last week I was out for a lovely walk with a friend, enjoying the new snow.  We stopped in to her house for some tea, and just as we sat down at the table, I heard a rumble that sounded like it should have been coming out of line-backer.  But, no, that noise came from my sweet Rya…and as I looked down, it wasn’t just noise.

It then dawned on me that I made not just one, but TWO rookie mom mistakes.  Not only did I not pack an extra outfit for her, I didn’t even pack any diapers.

WHAT?

What newborn mother forgets diapers?  This one!

And, while I would like to say that was the first time I’ve done that, it would be a lie (and I know it won’t be the last either!)

I would like to blame sleep deprivation, but that too, would be a lie, as Rya is pretty much sleeping through the night again.

“Blow-out on me once” shame on you, “blow-out on me twice“….( I can’t even think of that saying without seeing an image of George W fumbling through his speech).

Ah well, blow outs or not, Rockwell or not, I sure am enjoying being a mama!

One of my most favourite things…is when Rya wakes up in the morning, and after rubbing her eyes and grunting for awhile (she wakes up slow!)  her eyes focus, she sees me, and then gives the sweetest, most beautiful smile.  At that moment,when my heart is about to burst, I am so thankful for having the privilege of being Rya’s mama!

By the way mom, life *could* be a Rockwell painting…just depends on the painting! hehe

I can’t believe it.  My baby girl hit the 3-month mark a couple days ago.  It is the end of our “4th trimester”…sigh  {pause}  WAAA!

It’s a strange time warp that happens when you become a mama.

On the one hand, I can’t believe 3 months has already flown by.

On the other hand, it feels like Rya has been a part of my life forever.  And I really, TRULY have a hard time remembering what life was like before her.

What is a “4th trimester,” you ask? Beats me – I just read about it in a book, which said the first 3 months is like a 4th trimester where you should just hold, feed and love your babies – and not to worry about anything else.

It sounded good to me.

Of course, now that this 4th trimester is over, I’m not sure if I’m supposed to start Rya on a regimented schedule of sensory games and sleep training.

I suppose I might want to start with getting her out of her co-sleeper, which she has quickly outgrown.  I just don’t feel ready to move her out of my bed yet.

I know…it’s not about me, it’s about her.  But I’m pretty sure I heard her say she wasn’t ready to move out of my bed yet either! hehe

Now, my iPhone coverage of Rya’s life has become a bit of a joke between my mom & I,  so to commemorate this transition out of our ’4th trimester’ I thought I would include a little iPhone montage for her (warning…this really is just blurry iPhone photos of Rya…it’s one of those things I would only subject family to watching…like hours of vacation photos…so if you do choose to watch it, considered yourself forewarned!)

But I’ll leave this post with a question….what kind of sleep arrangement did YOU have when your peanut was 3 months old?

Change. I know motherhood is full of change, but I wish some warning was given for a few things.

I’m not talking about anything deep here. Nope, I’m back to talking about pumping. And milk flow.

I suppose coming from a background in business, I should have realized that the law of supply and demand would prevail. I just had no idea how quickly the change would happen.

One minute I’m spurting like the fountain in the middle of central park, and the next, I’m 30 minutes into pumping, and all I have to show for it is an elongated nipple.

Whatever happened to filling a bottle in 5 minutes or less!? How am I supposed to get anything done when 1/3 of my day is stuck to a pump?

How indeed.

I remember seeing this rockin’ product at the Vancouver Island Baby Fair several years ago – hands free pumping. Sweet looking little contraption with fabulous patterns.

I did a quick internet search – voila – there they are – PumpEase. And, at less than $35, they are a pretty good steal.

Of course, being of the “I want it NOW” generation, I couldn’t wait a week for this thing to arrive in the mail.

And, I figured, how hard could it be to make one?

Cue Macgyver sound track!

I remembered my sister giving me some old nursing bras (eww you say? Hey – we’re sisters….we share everything – except underwear and men!) – I pulled out the scissors, did a little snip here, and a little snip there….and voila!

Instant hands-free pumping!

Now, I realize I’m not exactly making a fashion statement while wearing this thing.

With two nipple holes cut out of the bra, I kinda look like a stag party gone wrong.

And I really would love the snazzy option in bright, bold colours, and likely will order one – but in the meantime, I’m getting things done!

I just put a load of laundry in while pumping.

And, I wrote this blog post.

Disturbing, I know.

I can’t wait for the UPS man to come back now! hehe

(searching your memory for the Macgyver soundtrack?  Search no longer – here it is!)